That 70’s Girl

That 70's Girl

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Depression & Holidays

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Christmas is around the corner and even though for most it is a time of shopping and celebration…for others it is time of sadness, a reminder of what they don’t have or have lost.

And I for one experiences so many emotions during this time of the year – I have lost, I have experienced sadness and loss of hope and it can be a difficult time. Through my life, I have had not so great Christmases and so when the time comes around I begin to sink into a bit of sadness – remembering the times that were not so wonderful.

But starting this year I decided that this time was going to be a time of reflection. I will allow myself to experience the emotions but only for a moment; I will give myself a moment to reflect on what is going on inside of me but I won’t stay there; I will give myself a moment to cry – to feel; I will give myself a moment to be human…Because, you know what, it’s okay.

And this is what we all need to understand and know – it’s okay to take a moment and feel and cry and get angry (but sin not) and just be human. When we truly realized that it’s okay, we will stop holding and repressing what God has given us – and that is feelings – and instead allow ourselves to be in the moment. When we give ourselves permission to BE, there…that’s where we will learn to LIVE – live each moment, live each second, live each minute, live each hour, live each day. When you repress and hold onto the negative emotions; in the end it will surface and in a way that we don’t want to express it.

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How do you live in that moment? Simply step away to a quiet space, close your eyes and breathe. Inhale all of the negative emotions and then exhale it out – allow the voice of God to comfort and console you through this moment and feel the weight of the world be lifted off your shoulders. When you exhale the negativity, you allow God to take it. See, what naturally happens is that when we are experiencing sadness or any negative emotion we don’t breathe – this is where hyperventilating takes place – we are holding and repressing all of that poison and it stops our breathing. DON’T!!

Inhale…take it in THEN Exhale…breathe it out

And continue to do this until you feel yourself calm down. And…do not breathe fast, but slow breaths, controlling them because the one thing I want you to remember is that YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

But one the most important things I do during this time of the year is give…give…give. When you allow yourself to be in the space of serving others, you will not think about what you are going through but focus on using what you have experienced to help them make it through their difficulties. You begin to look at your life differently and see that God is using you as His soldier to witness to others the love He has for them through you.

If you are going through tough times this Christmas, remember that it’s okay. Take time and allow yourself to be in the moment, breathe through it and remember that YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Talk to someone and express what you are feeling, don’t repress or hold back but be honest in yourself…give yourself a moment to feel and then give yourself permission to live.

If you know someone who is going through tough times, be a light during their time of need. Give them words of encouragement and most importantly a feeling of hope because even though weeping may endure for the night, joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

Have a blessed Christmas everyone!!!

Do Not Be Ashamed

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Mental Illness has become such a stigma, that many fear in judgment to come forth of what they are going through.

Most of the time depression starts with sadness and the feeling of loneliness. Once a person becomes angry and irrational, that’s the point where they finally have their breakdown. And it’s because they have bottled inside their emotions believing that no one cares, no one understands, and others will condemn them for how they feel.

But we have to be the voice because mental illness is real…it’s not a stigma! If we can help care for those who have a physical illness then we can surely be hope for those who are mentally ill.

As I have been reading about Kanye West’s breakdown and hospitalization, it brings me to when I also dealt with depression. Even though I am a mental illness survivor, it is still a battle mentally each and every day to keep my mind focused on my faith in God. I 1000% understand what Kanye West is going through and it is something that is hard to describe to those who have never been there.

I firmly believed that since he lost his mom, he was never the same…given that I haven’t lost my mom, I still can empathize with him because my mom and I have an unbreakable bond as she is my best friend. So when he lost his mom, my heart went out to him in so many ways and with all that he is dealing with and has been dealing with as a celebrity in itself I send my prayers to him and his family. Mental illness does not only affect the person but it affects their family and close friends.

Prayers is what he needs, love is what heals…So make sure that when you get on your knees and pray each night, pray for Kanye West and his family.

If we don’t talk about it, we can’t do anything about it!! #IAMALive

Work In Your Faith

So I was just getting my daughter and myself ready for bed and, as I always do, began talking to God (my Father) and he said this to me:

Stop working for faith and start working IN faith.

Yes! I said it!

Religion tells us to work for our faith, that the only way to be blessed is to work for it. If I want to receive my healing I have to make sure I attend every service in church, be an usher, sing on the choir, read my Bible religiously, etc. etc…Because remember it is written that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). Yes that is true.

We can’t work for blessing or work to be loved by God. The work has already been done. The work He is referring to is moving and acting as if it has already been done. For example, if I say I am healed…then I must speak, move, and act like I am healed – that is my work. Going to church, being an usher, etc. will not heal me, my faith will and when I work in my faith I have already received my healing.

Nothing you or I do or will ever cause blessings to flow…God blesses us not because we are good or because we do good things, He blesses us because He is good. But if we are planting seeds of iniquity, death, hatred; we will reap that harvest. So that is where the stopping of blessings come in. Not because we didn’t go to church, but because we planted a death seed. Remember you reap what you sow.

God is an AWESOME God and His love for us is beyond our comprehension or understanding. So stop trying to work for your blessing and starting working in your blessing – work in your faith. The work was done on the cross 2,000+ years ago. So what are you doing?

 

Fair Fight?

Hey Everyone!!

It’s been awhile but I have been, as always, working on new projects, being a mom, revamping my business…trying to keep my sanity 🙂

But today I just had to post about fair fight? With all the chaos going on in the world, what happened to fair fight???

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I was just sitting here thinking to myself…why is it that some people do not know how to fight fair? Why do they throw low blows to “prove their point” or try “to make themselves look perfect”?

It is so easy to turn a simple argument into something bigger than what it is, when you hit low – when you attack the person. But many don’t care, they just get into their feelings and instead of staying on topic, they hit low.

Why the Low Blows?

As I mentioned before, many hit low because they are into their feelings and their pride takes over and they don’t want to be wrong. They also feel there should not be another opinion except theirs (*raised eyebrow)

Then, there are those who know they are wrong, so they choose to hit low to bring the other person to their level and therefore attack them for going low – even though they went low first. (Yeah, I know)

Of course you have those who are just sore losers, they don’t want to lose a fight so why not hit low to bully the other person.

Which brings me to BULLYING

Is it Really Bullying?

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Let’s think about a bully for a minute – Here is a definition I found online when I searched on Google.

(noun) a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
AND
(verb) use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
Now we know this is happening A LOT, our youth are committing suicide and even homicide….but have you ever wondered when you were in an argument with a loved one whether it is a significant other or spouse that either one of you were displaying any sort of this behavior? And let me clarify, I don’t mean those who have been abused mentally and physically, but in a simple argument that you may have had.
Have you ever been in an argument about, let’s say, something you didn’t want to do because you simply didn’t want to do it, but because the arguer wants to do it, he/she tells you that you don’t want to do it because you are a ____ or a _____? That’s bullying, it may not be extreme, but he/she is trying to intimidate you in to doing something they want to do, not respecting that you don’t want to do it (and the reason doesn’t matter). It’s your body, your mind…no one has the right to intimidate you into doing anything you simply DON’T WANT TO DO.

I Have Been There?

I used to wonder why I would get so upset about a simple argument and then I began to realize why, because I was being attacked – my character. The argument went from who forgot to put the juice in the fridge (not a true story, just making a point) to it had to be me because I don’t want that person to have juice – basically, I have an ulterior motive, and so now I am getting defensive and have to defend my character when we were just arguing about who forgot to put the juice in the fridge.

This is toxic and many don’t know they are doing it, they just simply want to WIN the argument.

This type of argument can lead to low self-esteem and depression…

Why Can’t We Agree to Disagree?

Argument is not about winning, it is about expressing your feelings and thoughts without judgments and intimidation. No one should feel intimidated especially when arguing with a loved one (friend, family, etc.) We should feel safe.

It’s okay to disagree without attacking another person’s character and making them feel bad about their opinion – remember you have an opinion too.

Because we live in such a competitive world, agreeing to disagree or even reaching a compromise is not an option…simply WINNING!!

One day I pray and I hope we come to a point where we are simply LOVING – unselfishly!!

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New Venture

New Venture

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Hey guys!! I am excited to announce to all of you my new business venture. I have created an online clothing store of inspirational clothing.

With all the negativity and hate that is flooding the world, I wanted to bring about something to inspire others to continue to have hope and that Love still exists. I believe that in order for there to be change it must start with us.

I plan to expand Agape Love Clothing and Accessories into more than just inspirational tee shirts for women, but also shirts for youth and men, jeans, skirts, dresses, etc.

Here are some of my shirts:

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Check out my online business HERE. Spread the word, share the love!

Don’t Believe Me Just Watch

Don’t Believe Me Just Watch

This post is a little emotional, but I just want to get real and raw for a moment. So just sit with me and bear with me as I vent my frustrations.

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*Disclaimer: If you are here to judge or to be negative, please leave now. Thank you.

As I sit here typing I just realized that it’s easier to pour my heart out on my blog than it is to a family or friend and to me that is actually sad…it is TRUTH but yet still sad, And I don’t know if anybody else is in the same situation as me…but if so I hope you know that you are not alone.

Here I go:

Since I started my business, I have been very excited but there have been days when I have expressed my excitement and felt so alone because I lacked support from those I thought should be my backbone…but instead I got “When you start making money, that’s when I will get excited”(this is was later said to be a joke)…But I always noticed when I talk about my passion and my business plans I noticed I get NOTHING. And so I began to realize that it’s because my passion is something that some people think is not needed, therefore I cannot be successful in it – Yep Sharp blow there. And if I am going to be honest with you, that is the reason I pulled back from starting my business…I felt totally alone. I began to not believe in myself or my dreams. I became frustrated, mad, depressed.

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I have two children and I don’t want them to EVER give up on their dreams…I want them to look at their Mom and see that no matter what – KEEP BELIEVING AND KEEP MOVING IN FAITH.

Just the other day…

A revelation came to me: (Read below)

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The people who are closest to you are the ones who doubt you the most. They think they know you, they think they know what you are capable of….they hold your faults against you, they hold your mistakes against you. So be careful when telling those who are around you what your plans are, for they will laugh and scoff. (Just a little tip: if you confront them, they will deny and may say things such as ‘I support you in my own way.’ Hmmm….questionable don’t you think) They always hold what you did and describe you in those terms but never in the words of God. Now I know what it means when people say “They called me every name in the book but the child of God” That is exactly what people who know you do. But one thing we should take note on is that Saul became Paul – who he was did not determine who he became (if you don’t know this biblical story, you have to read it – it will change your life). Don’t allow the words of others to hold you back from your dreams…those dreams are not illusions, they are specifically given to each one of you because God know that you are made for something greater than what the eyes can see. Hold fast to what God has placed into your heart, no man can tear away what God has put there.

I have learned this the hard way and trust me, it hurts…but as the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! And what one says about me doesn’t define WHO I AM…God has already told me WHO I AM- a Queen, a child of the Most High…and no matter what mistakes I make I am the righteousness of God through Jesus Christ and NO MAN on earth can change THAT!!

So for all of my naysayers…You are my motivation and you, just like Judas, are pushing me into my greatest destiny!! I will go through the taunting, the doubts, the ‘throw my sins (faults and mistakes) in my face’…but in the end….I won’t say anything else…I will let Bruno Mars say it for me:

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So with that being said…To those of you who have stopped dreaming; join me as we begin to LIVE OUT LOUD OUR DREAMS!!!

Are you ready?? It will be a bumpy ride, but I am so excited to see you on the other side!!