It’s been awhile but I have been, as always, working on new projects, being a mom, revamping my business…trying to keep my sanity 🙂
But today I just had to post about fair fight? With all the chaos going on in the world, what happened to fair fight???
I was just sitting here thinking to myself…why is it that some people do not know how to fight fair? Why do they throw low blows to “prove their point” or try “to make themselves look perfect”?
It is so easy to turn a simple argument into something bigger than what it is, when you hit low – when you attack the person. But many don’t care, they just get into their feelings and instead of staying on topic, they hit low.
Why the Low Blows?
As I mentioned before, many hit low because they are into their feelings and their pride takes over and they don’t want to be wrong. They also feel there should not be another opinion except theirs (*raised eyebrow)
Then, there are those who know they are wrong, so they choose to hit low to bring the other person to their level and therefore attack them for going low – even though they went low first. (Yeah, I know)
Of course you have those who are just sore losers, they don’t want to lose a fight so why not hit low to bully the other person.
Which brings me to BULLYING…
Is it Really Bullying?
Let’s think about a bully for a minute – Here is a definition I found online when I searched on Google.
(noun) a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
(verb) use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
Now we know this is happening A LOT, our youth are committing suicide and even homicide….but have you ever wondered when you were in an argument with a loved one whether it is a significant other or spouse that either one of you were displaying any sort of this behavior? And let me clarify, I don’t mean those who have been abused mentally and physically, but in a simple argument that you may have had.
Have you ever been in an argument about, let’s say, something you didn’t want to do because you simply didn’t want to do it, but because the arguer wants to do it, he/she tells you that you don’t want to do it because you are a ____ or a _____? That’s bullying, it may not be extreme, but he/she is trying to intimidate you in to doing something they want to do, not respecting that you don’t want to do it (and the reason doesn’t matter). It’s your body, your mind…no one has the right to intimidate you into doing anything you simply DON’T WANT TO DO.
I Have Been There?
I used to wonder why I would get so upset about a simple argument and then I began to realize why, because I was being attacked – my character. The argument went from who forgot to put the juice in the fridge (not a true story, just making a point) to it had to be me because I don’t want that person to have juice – basically, I have an ulterior motive, and so now I am getting defensive and have to defend my character when we were just arguing about who forgot to put the juice in the fridge.
This is toxic and many don’t know they are doing it, they just simply want to WIN the argument.
This type of argument can lead to low self-esteem and depression…
Why Can’t We Agree to Disagree?
Argument is not about winning, it is about expressing your feelings and thoughts without judgments and intimidation. No one should feel intimidated especially when arguing with a loved one (friend, family, etc.) We should feel safe.
It’s okay to disagree without attacking another person’s character and making them feel bad about their opinion – remember you have an opinion too.
Because we live in such a competitive world, agreeing to disagree or even reaching a compromise is not an option…simply WINNING!!
One day I pray and I hope we come to a point where we are simply LOVING – unselfishly!!